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Posts tagged sisyphusriver
sisyphusriver replied to your post: guess who accidentally swallowed a small safety pin :D
OMG SARAH??? (my roommate just said you’re awesome)
i swear to god it wasnt on purpose. thank you stephanies roommate though
yes but the hair just helps with the paleness even more. or maybe it just makes it more obvious. either way, lovely
it could also be that i was taking it in front of my window, which in photos emphasizes my pastiness.
sisyphusriver replied to your photo: I feel preeeetty, oh so preeeetty, I feel preeetty…
you’re so pale i don’t understand i think it’s the hair
no im really that pale.
:D I’m goood and yourself?
i am quite lovely!
WHOAH WHAT WHOAH HELLO
hi stephanie. how are you?
work in progress.
you are my sunshine, my only sunshine. you make me happy when skies are grey. youll never know, dear, how much i love you. please dont take my sunshine away.
i hate you in the way you hate the sun when you have forgotten your sunglasses
but miss it during the winter.
your skin brings me warmth unsurpassed by any other
but leaves me feeling cold before we ever part.
at least the suns warmth remains for the duration of its stay.
you are similar to the sun, though-
like basking without sunblock guarantees burns,
seeing you guarantees scars.
i know both will occur beforehand but i leave unprotected anyway,
hoping that perhaps today my skin will be thicker,
im never surprised except by how red my pale skin can become from
the contrast is always a bit shocking.
i have never hated being pale as much as i do when the mirror reminds me of how much red contrasts with it.
a mirage of memories plays out in the mirror,
the stark contrast managing to bleed together.
the sun is gone now,
it is night,
and it is dark, as night so often is.
you are no longer the sun, surrounding me with heat.
you have become a creature of the night,
darkened by substance
and drunken with desire;
you know nothing of warmth.
your mind has become frigid,
your body hard,
your actions set in stone before you ever do them because
your mind will not allow you to see how much you are making me fear the light.
it can no longer be trusted.
it will always give way to shadows
as warmth gives way to burns.
you do not know that after tonight
i will cringe away from touch meant to comfort.
that i will eventually run out of sad songs like youve run out of warmth-
theyre still there,
but none of them speak to me anymore.
they offer no comfort when i cry.
instead, they leave me feeling hollow inside
as though “the stars are aligned” cut to my core
and scooped out my self worth
leaving me empty
but weighted down.
it takes hours for me to fall asleep now because i cant stop shaking.
part of it is because i cant catch my breath
long enough to forget that
i chew holes in the insides of my lips
as a constant reminder of the parts of me you wanted to touch.
part of it is because i am cold.
we could not talk for years and i would still tag you in this stuff.
hi stephanie. im dont know if youre still online but im going to text you tonight.
OMG YOU’RE LEAVING TODAY AREN’T YOU
YES EXCEPT NOT REALLY BECAUSE IM LIVING AT HOME BUT YES
r u srs wow you are so lucky omg
sisyphusriver asked: Greed and Diligence
THE DELIGHTFUL LITTLE RED FLAG DIDNT SHOW UP ON MY ENVELOPE.
greed: something i cant get enough of.
hm. i could be a fatass and say something food related like sushi or the dark chocolate frosting we have in my fridge. i could be shallow and say i cant get enough positive attention or praise. i could be human and say i cant get enough love. or i could be literal and say i cant get enough time. all of these are true.
diligence: one of my goals.
i really dont have goals, which is kind of a problem. current goal is to not gain any more weight. also “the greatest thing youll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return”- Moulin Rouge <- do that. figuring out my life would be cool too.
i had something else but my dog moved and it looked like an earwig and oh my gosh that scared the crap out of me.